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Oatmeal essays

At 5am on Christmas morning, my grandmother stood in the kitchen, a bit of dried oatmeal crusted to her lip. Before you take that to mean all of Pharaoh’s subjects worshiped cats, understand that anyone who has ever attempted to bathe a beloved housecat or even just trim its claws, at one time or another wanted to toss said animal’s internal organs into a I’m a cat lover. A misguided essay-comic titled “Christopher Columbus was awful (but this other guy was not)” was recently posted on by Matthew Inman on The Oatmeal and is presently circulating on .

Oatmeal essays

Oatmeal essays

My recipes have been featured on Foodgawker, Buzzfeed, Finding Vegan, Healthy Aperture, Huffington Post, Babble, and The Frisky. The desire to separate a feline from its entrails isn’t personal—just a balancing of the scales, and maybe a smidgen revenge for never being allowed to use the bathroom without the carpet outside the door being scratched to hell.

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  • She nonchalantly pushed the newly-assembled casserole behind the toaster while also pawing at her mouth, before finally just snapping her tongue over that incriminating smear of leftover topping– evidence of the great oatmeal debate which brought us here.


    Oatmeal essays

    Oatmeal essays

    Oatmeal essays

    I grew up in the Midwest, but moved to the east coast to work in urban middle schools, where I tutored and taught writing for three years before leaving to enroll in graduate school. After an entire lifetime of horrible dietary decisions, I vowed to make some changes to deal with my IBS. Forever and a day, writers have attempted to define the mysterious cabal between cats and human beings.

    Oatmeal essays

    Loewen’s Lies My Teacher Told Me, seeks to dispel the Christopher Columbus myth and correct the injustice of Columbus Day by honoring another historical fure, “this other guy” Bartolomé de las Casas, who, like Columbus, was a Spanish conquistador implicated in the transatlantic slave trade. HOW TO WRITE BIP Although “Christopher Columbus was awful” is perhaps well intentioned, the logics guiding the essay’s trajectory are nevertheless harmful to Indenous peoples, whose own struggles for recognition and soverenty are entirely excluded from the discourse, and African Americans, whose enslavement and humanity are superficially gestured to, but ultimately nored.


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